Glued to the screen — Do Not Feed the Monkeys review

Originally published at:

Do Not Feed the Monkeys hits a little too close to home. I don’t need to be stuck to the screen playing a game about someone stuck to the screen. Do Not Feed the Monkeys certainly did keep me stuck to the screen. Watching these virtual people go about their lives as you struggle to maintain yours while keeping up with the club’s demands is a difficult yet engaging task.

What club is that? Why the Primate Observation Club of course! This is more than just watching some monkeys, however. This is watching the ultimate monkey; other human beings! There is one key rule that you must follow. Never feed the monkeys. Don’t interact with the subjects in any way. Of course, since I was explicitly told to not do it, I definitely fed the monkeys. How could I not? They are just so interesting! Strange old man who may or may not be Hitler? A driver taking unwanted nude photos of a celebrity? An airport? You can’t just throw these at me and tell me not to interact with them.

You look…familiar.

It is even harder to not interact with them when they look so good. I adore the pixel art here. Everything looks so good with the different cages each having a different look that can change over time as you interact with them. Or don’t interact with them. Yes, definitely don’t feed the monkeys.

Of course, this is an elite club. In order to stay in and rise through the ranks you have to keep getting cages. What are cages? Why they are cameras that allow you to see into the lives of these primates. These, like most nice things, cost money. As much as I would like to do nothing but watch my fellow human beings without them knowing; you do actually need to eat, sleep, and pay bills. You also have to deal with neighbors who always want something. Fuck neighbors. I don’t need people who can talk back.

Look, I don’t need people in my life who talk back.

In order to get this glorious money to get more cages, you have to work. This involves a bunch of random small jobs, some of which require previous experience. This is all a fine balancing act. You need money for new cages, rent, and food. If you are working, however, you aren’t watching the monkeys. This could lead to missing out on their lives and missing key information to learn more about them or further interact with them. This information is also a job as the club will quiz you to make sure you are actually paying attention and they will send you some cash if you get it correct. So you have to balance your time between working, eating, sleeping, and watching.

Food is important, as is what you eat. If you just order fast food all the time your health will decline. While this is absolutely true, I feel like this is a personal attack and I don’t like it. So instead of ordering that 2-for-1 hot dog deal, it may be best to go to the market and grab some yogurt. It’s better for you in the long run. Even if I would definitely prefer the hot dogs.

It may be terrible for me, but man does it taste good.

Do Not Feed the Monkeys is a fascinating game that begs multiple playthroughs. There are multiple endings that encourage you to engage or not engage with the monkeys to see how things turn out. Maybe you will stop the limo driver from taking nude photos. Maybe you are into that sort of thing and want to see how it turns out. After all, you aren’t supposed to feed the monkeys. I do recommend just taking your time with the first playthrough. The game can throw a lot at you to start and it may take some time to get into the swing of things.

The Primate Observation Club has you watching monkeys as you struggle to pay for more cages while taking care of yourself. The balance between time and money is consistently engaging. The subject’s lives are yours to watch. There is just one key rule: Do not feed the monkeys.